why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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