I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
