If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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