she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
