guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i need some magic done to my vagina
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
