were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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