got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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