if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
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He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
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History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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