Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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