champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
My orgasm happened in two different decades
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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