I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
