Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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