im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
