i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
