The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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