My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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