Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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