just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
