Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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