We should be called the Road Head Warriors
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He's a Shit stain on my heart
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
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