she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
