can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
handjob tips. give me some.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
