Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize