I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Randomize