Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
These tits shall not be calmed
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
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