in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
