We won't sleep together?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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