I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
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I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
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She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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