loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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