can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
