bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
