i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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