I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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