Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize