I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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