Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
