it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.