I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment