yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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