Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
