I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
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Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
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I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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