you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
