dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
