Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize