Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize