you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
