He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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