Having a random hookup so left but love u
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
