I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
