I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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