Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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