So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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