i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize