He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
