If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
