why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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