I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
