I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize