I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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