WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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